The Cobrasnake Bites Manila!

I never thought I'd get to see the Cobrasnake in Manila (Philippines) in my Lifetime.
but...

Great guy. Gave him a couple of calling cards... one of them... should end up with Chris Weeks.

Damn club stopped me from bringing in my slr, was lucky I had my point n shoot with me. Thanks Rev for getting me in. Now if only I could be like this guy, Mark got in the swankiest club here with a pair of shorts on. He's the man.

How Batman Saved My Life

So there I was, walking the empty streets of Hong Kong, the neon signs that buzzed and burned in the early hours of the night have been extinguished.

The alley was dark and damp, a perfect place to get mugged in any other city. But not Hong Kong right? Of course not, I assured myself, there are cameras EVERYWHERE!

I braved the un-illuminated side street, stepping on strange puddles as I waded through almost pitch-black darkness.

There it is! The light at the end of the alley! I saw it so perfectly, the bus stop, the small crowd waiting.

They were all there, I just need to get past this darkness.

I quickened my pace, and as I did so, I heard a strange sound.

I stopped at my tracks, but the footsteps that echoed seemed to fall a second too late.
My breathing became heavy, my heart beat raced, I look back and see

Nothing.

But I can hear it. In the dark darkness, a shuffling of feet, an unsheathing of blades.

I broke into a run, and my pursuers gave chase!
The street is a mere 20 meter's away!
But no! It doesn't look like I'll make it!

As I turned around to face my would-be muggers, a strange shape formed in the blackness
Then, without warning I hear a:

BAM!

BOOF!

KAPOW!

ZING!

SOCK!


As the cornucopia of 60's sound effects filled the alley, I broke into a run, confident that the strange saviour can handle himself.

Salvation! I find myself at the bus stop!

But who was it that saved me? What brave soul would just jump out into a darkness so dark that it was darker than what a blind man can't already see?
Who would be dark enough to pull of such heroism?
WHO?

I'll tell you who.

It was Batman.
I do not lie. The Dark Knight himself saved me from my would-be muggers.


I, unfortunately, was not able to chronicle the battle to save my life.
However Batman did take me to McDonalds.

Michael Keaton has fallen on hard times since the first Batman...

Beware, criminals of Hong Kong! Batman walks the streets....and apparently not even the Dark Knight is immune to the allure of a steaming hot Big Mac.

TEN! TENENENENTENTENTENTEEEEN!!!! TENENENEN NENEN!! TENEN NENEN!
(Batman The Animated Series theme song)

Pantscapade

Hey my name is Plasticbagman but people call me Red. And man I hate shoppping. Don't you just hate shopping? Well I do. Its because something like this always happens:

Months ago, I went shopping for a brand new pair of pants. So I went to a certain store, (to be professional and to prevent embarrassing myself by misspelling the store name I shall leave it unnamed). So I went to this store and I checked out some pants. After some time I got two candidates for a spot in my closet. My customer senses urged me to ask the nearby saleslady and ask which is better.

"Alin ang mas maganda dito?" I asked

"Eto sir" she pointed to the pair held by my left hand.

"Bakit?"

"Kasi po sir, etong isa tight fit eh"

For some reason what she told me really hurt. Maybe its because im overweight, and that was a remark against my fatness. Sir the loose fit is better because you aint fitting in that other pair. What an asshole! But maybe she has something else on her mind, so asked her.

"Ano naman kung tight fit?" I asked calmly

"Baka po kasi mahirap sa... inyo..." Eventually she realizes the point shes making and diverts

"Kasi po sir... mas maraming bulsa yung isa eh"

Splendid! I LOVE POCKETS! The shorts I'm wearing right now has a dozen of em! Moving on, I took her advise and I asked for size 40s (note: may not be actual pants size). So she went off and looked for a size in the back while i waited for what seemed like a Pres. Marcos presidential term.

Finally after the martial law, she arrives. With two pairs in hand. Hmmm.. I only asked for one... somethings going on

"Sir wala na pong size 40 (note: may not be actual pants size) size 38 na lang!"

Now don't you just hate it when this happens. They made me wait for eternity, told me I was fat and now I dont have a size? Whats more is that they're trying to push me into buying a size lower or a size under.

"Sir ano sir? try niyo yung 38?"

What do you say to that?

"AH OO, buti na lang kinuha mo yang 38! kasi sa tagal mo sa likod, tumakbo ako ng around the world in 80 days! Tapos pumayat ako!" **(see note below)

Just kidding, I wish I said that. I also wish to have turned into the hulk and hulksmashed the store. Anyhoo, the real story is just I went out and walked home and dreaded the day that I have to shop again. Sorry for the very texty post, my next post will be more picture filled i promise you that.

**(authors note: apparently that wass already a joke from Demetri Martin, in my defense I made it up on my own, but Im not claiming it to be mine and mine alone if someone else beat me to it, im not taking away anything from them.)

Mr.M's Guide To Living In A Post-Apocalyptic World

I've been hearing a lot about a certain magnitude 8 earthquake that will supposedly hit Manila on the 18th of July, 2008.

Now, I can't really help out with preparing for such a disaster, mainly because in the movies, any and all preparations are either insufficient or negligible, almost always due to lack of information, arrogant politicians, or the main protagonist's inability to reach the broadcast tower on time (because he had sex with the lead female and/or he is hindered by a doomsday cult obsessed with the apocalypse. Or both.)

We're supposed to be saving the world right now...

I know that the prediction says that it will only hit Manila, but let's prepare for the worst.
Most likely when this earthquake hits, the international community is bound to send out a couple of relief efforts, and I'm sure the government will like, I dunno, hand out candy bars or some shit.
You'll be fine.

No, what I'M going to discuss is a GLOBAL EARTH SHATTERING DISASTER OF CATASTROPHIC PROPORTIONS. (cue in epic music.) [add an echo to your voice for effect]

Global Earth Shattering Disaster

What I might be able to help with is surviving the post-apocalyptic world that you know inhabit.
I speak with proper authority because I have read and seen countless post-apocalyptic fiction and movies. I am well versed in over 10 different scenarios, ranging from a Vampire/Zombie Take-over, to a Humanity Wiping Plague, to a Nuclear Armageddon, to a Meteor Impact. Heck, throw in the Final Judgment while you're at it.
Oh yeah. I read the bible too. I can survive that.

Pfft. This doesn't scare me. I'm prepared for that.

So! On with the guide!


Mr.M's Guide To Living In A Post-Apocalyptic World! (Earthquake Scenario)

A 100-year old prediction of an Earth shattering earthquake has been ignored. The prophet who made the prediction is now dead, and the world's governments have turned a deaf ear to all your warnings.

EARTHQUAKE?! OMG NO WAI! LOLZ!

Suddenly, a massive quake hits all the continents at the same time (just for the sake of argument). We see a montage of disasters happening, from a shopping mall being torn asunder, to a preschool being swallowed up by the earth.

Picture this, only with school children and old people.

You somehow survive because, being forewarned, you were in a gigantic dirigible, built by the prophet who wasn't actually dead, he was just working as a transvestite midget hooker to evade the same doomsday cult who prevented you from warning the rest of the people. (Why he's a transvestite midget hooker, I don't know. Just use your imagination.)

As you float down to the now-ruined cities, you find yourself alone, and destitute. Your leading lady is shocked into suicide, the prophet fell out of your balloon when you were landing so he's now nothing more than a red puddle on the ground, and your trusty side-kick has died of a massive heart-attack (again, just for the sake of argument.).

Congratulations! You have reached the end of the world!

Oh...Shit.

But don't pat yourself on the back just yet! Surviving an earth-shattering catastrophe is one thing, but the true challenge is living out the rest of your natural born life.
The world-ending earthquake managed to wipe out 95% of the entire human population.
This may seem a large number, but take into account that there are over 8 BILLION people in the world.
What's 5% of that? I honestly do not know. That's more math than I can handle.
You must now survive
Do YOU know what to do?

No. No you don't know what to do. That's why you're reading this.

Step 1: Establish a home base.

First, look for a decent place to crash, preferably one that is both comfortable and easily defensible.

Not bad. Not bad at all.

Remember, no one is running the power stations, and high-rise apartments are out of the question, seeing as most of them would have toppled over by now.
There should be many hiding places available by now, mostly created by office buildings lying on their sides.

One of these buildings can be YOUR new home!

But be careful! The ground could be treacherous and aftershocks are to be expected.

Worry, Shit like this WILL happen.

Step 2: Stock up on supplies.

Food and water naturally become a priority. Canned foods, dehydrated meals and the like will be your best friend in this dark and power-less world. A butane gas stove and some camping gear would also be essential.

You know why people in the movies have a hard time?

Because they didn't have shit like this.

Medical supplies come next. I'm no doctor but hey, neither are you! Stock up on anti-biotics, the stronger, the better. Some needle and thread to sew up any wounds, Hydrogen Peroxide and rubbing alcohol to stave off infection. Maybe some soap as well. Just because no one is around, doesn’t mean you gotta abandon personal hygiene.

Step 3: Educate yourself.

Next, I suggest gathering up a lot of How-To books. You can find them in any abandoned bookstore.

Get books on stuff like, How To Wire Electronics, just in case you find a working generator(and you will find one), some medical books on How To Clean Wounds would also be in your best interest.

How-To Books. You get the idea.

Step 4: Clothing.

Clothing will also become an issue. If you live in a tropical country, chances are you wont need much, save for the occasional raincoat when monsoon season rolls around.

But if you're living in more temperate climates, going out and getting winter wear is a very good idea. Some heavy overcoats, maybe some gloves to stave off the harsh cold. Oh and, get a pair of welder's goggles. Those things look cool when matched with a torn up trench coat and a rifle slung over your shoulder.

Kinda like this, only with goggles. Goggles are cool. Trust me.

Speaking of rifles...

Step 5: Guns and Ammo. (Maybe even some knives)

Just because the earthquake wiped out most of human civilization doesn't mean that other people won't be after your shit.

Stock up on pistols, and shotguns for home defense, rifles and automatics for scouting trips.

Grenades are unnecessary and dangerous.

You can find these, and other weapons in abandoned gun shops or, if available, ruined military bases. Pilfer the corpses of dead soldiers and security guards.

However, if the world decides to swallow up guns and some such, go low-tech and fashion yourself a knife. It's easy just pick up some rebar, and, like, make it pointy or whatever.

Either one of these would be awesome.

Step 6: Mobility

No man is an island, and soon you'll need to get out there and look for other survivors.

This is a tricky step. Since the earthquake has wiped out nearly all of Man's infrastructure, you will be hard-pressed to find gasoline. I suggest going to nearby wrecked petrol stations and gathering up any and all petrol. Hey, don't worry about it, it's free!

Vehicle of choice: Run back to the ruined military base mentioned in step 4, and, why not, grab yourself a tank. It's sturdy, and it can go over almost any kind of terrain. Better than that, grab a helicopter. It gives you a greater range of mobility and sight. The only drawback is that you'd need to know how to fly a helicopter in the first place.

I'd suggest tanks. They're much cooler, and easier to drive.

I mean, with the tank, It's just like driving a car. Have you never played those tank battle games in arcades?

Yeah, it's just like this!

Step 7: Re-establishing society.

By now, you should have gathered AT LEAST 5-600 people.

5-600 people. Give or take.

Your home base has become a miniature city, and you managed to gather a very eclectic group of survivors. On staff are doctors, farmers, engineers, technicians, etc.. It is at this time that re organizing the structure of society becomes your choice. Most people would go for a more democratic, Utopian society, where everyone gets a say.

But remember this: If everyone gets a say, nothing will ever get done.

I, for one, would go with a despotic, albeit benevolent, rule. I know what's best for everyone, so you can all just shut the fuck up and listen to me. That way, everything gets done right.

At this point, you usually ascend to the highest position of power in your mini-city, atop the shoulders of a thankful crowd. In the sky are the super imposed images of your dead loved ones, smiling down on you, and nodding with approval.

It should look something like this. And if you're not the one wearing a crown, then you have FAILED.

Perhaps your dead girlfriend would say that it is time for you to move on, at which point you then notice a stunning doctor-girl in the crowd giving you the eyes. You may now use your imagination as to what happens next.

There should ALWAYS be a sexy doctor in the crowd. If there isn't one, then you have FAILED.

-The End-

I hope this guide will help you in your time of need. It's only a day away, and you may not have access to the internet when it comes.

I suggest printing this out, and keeping it under your pillow while you sleep, so the knowledge may seep into your head while you slumber.

This is Mr.M saying, I am not responsible for any and all accidents and/or deaths that may result from the rote following of this guide.

Cheers :D

Finally

After about two months of waiting, we finally can rest easy... ;)

I walked in the place looking slightly under dressed when placed against the theme and scale of Teatrino at the Promenade. It was simply stunning
I didn't get a press pass, and I didn't have "Chris Weeks" status, so I had to shoot from my seat and many heads got in the way. I'm not disappointed about the photos because...

Caroline was dressed completely in white, and for an amateur model, she definitely did better than we all expected.

Caroline at work. Like I said earlier, my vantage point wasn't the best one in the house with a lot of heads in the way... and this noisy D70s with a 35 eff two isn't the way to for stuff like this... but it's what I have to work with.

Camy is Caroline's new friend. She was representing "Aroma Black" Aroma? Don't ask me... Anyhoo, Camy turned out to be such an interesting person. She does a lot of graphic design and works at a very nice art firm. A really artist, not one of these. (This term was originally used by Chris Weeks, so it's only fair to give him credit)

This was the winner for the Black category. He looks very mean, until you realize he's not too tall. Still... mean. Looks like a Cuban/Spanish drug lord.

Pink. She didn't win though...

This girl did. Chesca.

Raymond never liked standing still. He never looks at cameras either...

Mine had a neon sign on it so he could see it better. :) Gotcha!

After the show, my girlfriend told me about this one really stiff dude who wanted to bust a move but was just too damn stiff... so she taught him how to do the robot. This is HIS version.

In a contest like this, you can't help but have one or two professionals join in on the fun. This girl nailed the walk and she was looking topnotch that night.

The moment right before the decision...

The decision. I had no doubts at all. ;)

We had to celebrate with a couple of drinks.

$2,000 in cash

A One Year Modeling Contract with Sony Philippines

A Sony Vaio C in "Pure White"

Revo was in attendance and hopefully he got a better view of the event that I did. Thanks for the photos Rev! ;)

This is my first Uber blog entry, but I hope to continue with more. The community has inspired me over the years and I am breaking out of my shell just now to give back. I really enjoy the works of Chris Weeks, and the people that post on his page. I love their style.

Time to work on the next blog. ;)

An open letter to Christine Daae

Hi Ms.Daae! Big fan of your work! Love your performance in Faust! Very rivetting, if I may say so myself.

But, there's just one thing...


What the fuck is wrong with you?

I mean really? Going out with Raoul, Viscount De Chagny? That motherfucker? What kind of message do you send out to women everywhere? Go for the rich and powerful, ignore the smart and caring people?
In the original novel, Raoul Vicomte de Chagny is a spoiled, almost feminine, character described by Gaston Leroux as having a "small, fair mustache, beautiful blue eyes, and a complexion like a girl's' and an air of just having left the women's apron-strings."

Do you know what that means, Ms.Daae?
That's 19th century slang for
"Raoul was a fucking ladyboy who wouldn't know how to please a woman if his life depended on it."

Another interesting note, in the book, Raoul threatens to go on a suicidal expedition to the Arctic if you, Ms.Daae, did not pledge yourself to him. It also goes on to say that he is angry and jealous of your relationship with the "Angel Of Music".
I don't know about you, but doesn't that remind you of emo kids of today?
"I'll cut myself if you don't love me! waaah waaah"

On the other hand, The Phantom is a real ace. Sure he's crazy, but that's only because of his scarred face which, seeing as you are a shallow, shallow human being, turned you off.
Besides, crazy is good sometimes.
The Phantom is a man of multiple intelligences, making insanely beautiful music while building a goddamn Opera House in his spare time. He's also as well-traveled as the Vicomte, having built a palace for the Shah Of Persia, fabricating houses in Constantinople, even going as far as learning to "breathe underwater" from the Tonkin pirates of South-East Asia.
Now if that isn't hardcore, I don't know what is.
Also of note, although The Phantom DID threaten to blow up the Opera House if you, Ms.Daae, did not pledge to love him, he didn't.
And yet, you went ahead and chose Raoul, jeopardizing the lives of hundreds in the Opera House just so you can play naked peek-a-boo with the Vicomte while rolling around in his money.
But he didn't blow it up, did he? No sir no ma'm. He loved you way too much to even think about hurting you. He was content in having been able to kiss you on your forehead. That was enough for him.

So let's see; The Phantom is a musical prodigy, an accomplished architect, is both mature and loving, and he can fucking breathe underwater.

Then we have Raoul, a spoiled, overbearing, jealous, emo ladyboy with the maturity of a 10 year old but with a bank account the size of a small country.

Pound for pound, The Phantom is clearly the logical choice for any prim and proper woman.
But no, you're not prim and proper, are you Ms.Daae?
You are a whore. A shallow, two-faced, whore.

You chose money and power and looks over intellect, emotional maturity, and BREATHING UNDERWATER.

YOU ARE MESSED UP, LADY. YOU ARE MESSED UP IN THE HEAD AND YOU ARE A HEARTLESS WENCH.

You're the 19th century version of Paris Hilton, Hot but Shallow.
I hate you, Christine Daae. I HATE YOU.

hugs and kisses,
me

Homemade Pizza

A few nights ago, my dad, my sister and my girlfriend decided to join forces and try to make something delicious. In the end, they were successful. They made 5 uniquely flavored thin-crust pizzas. They were about 8 inches in diameter packed with toppings. I had 1 whole pie all to my self. :D

Preparations

Finished Product

P&P Tattoo 7/10/08