Thursday, July 24, 2008

How Batman Saved My Life

So there I was, walking the empty streets of Hong Kong, the neon signs that buzzed and burned in the early hours of the night have been extinguished.

The alley was dark and damp, a perfect place to get mugged in any other city. But not Hong Kong right? Of course not, I assured myself, there are cameras EVERYWHERE!

I braved the un-illuminated side street, stepping on strange puddles as I waded through almost pitch-black darkness.

There it is! The light at the end of the alley! I saw it so perfectly, the bus stop, the small crowd waiting.

They were all there, I just need to get past this darkness.

I quickened my pace, and as I did so, I heard a strange sound.

I stopped at my tracks, but the footsteps that echoed seemed to fall a second too late.
My breathing became heavy, my heart beat raced, I look back and see

Nothing.

But I can hear it. In the dark darkness, a shuffling of feet, an unsheathing of blades.

I broke into a run, and my pursuers gave chase!
The street is a mere 20 meter's away!
But no! It doesn't look like I'll make it!

As I turned around to face my would-be muggers, a strange shape formed in the blackness
Then, without warning I hear a:

BAM!

BOOF!

KAPOW!

ZING!

SOCK!


As the cornucopia of 60's sound effects filled the alley, I broke into a run, confident that the strange saviour can handle himself.

Salvation! I find myself at the bus stop!

But who was it that saved me? What brave soul would just jump out into a darkness so dark that it was darker than what a blind man can't already see?
Who would be dark enough to pull of such heroism?
WHO?

I'll tell you who.

It was Batman.
I do not lie. The Dark Knight himself saved me from my would-be muggers.


I, unfortunately, was not able to chronicle the battle to save my life.
However Batman did take me to McDonalds.


Michael Keaton has fallen on hard times since the first Batman...


Beware, criminals of Hong Kong! Batman walks the streets....and apparently not even the Dark Knight is immune to the allure of a steaming hot Big Mac.

TEN! TENENENENTENTENTENTEEEEN!!!! TENENENEN NENEN!! TENEN NENEN!
(Batman The Animated Series theme song)

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