But, there's just one thing...
What the fuck is wrong with you?
I mean really? Going out with Raoul, Viscount De Chagny? That motherfucker? What kind of message do you send out to women everywhere? Go for the rich and powerful, ignore the smart and caring people?
In the original novel, Raoul Vicomte de Chagny is a spoiled, almost feminine, character described by Gaston Leroux as having a "small, fair mustache, beautiful blue eyes, and a complexion like a girl's' and an air of just having left the women's apron-strings."
Do you know what that means, Ms.Daae?
That's 19th century slang for
"Raoul was a fucking ladyboy who wouldn't know how to please a woman if his life depended on it."
Another interesting note, in the book, Raoul threatens to go on a suicidal expedition to the Arctic if you, Ms.Daae, did not pledge yourself to him. It also goes on to say that he is angry and jealous of your relationship with the "Angel Of Music".
I don't know about you, but doesn't that remind you of emo kids of today?
"I'll cut myself if you don't love me! waaah waaah"
On the other hand, The Phantom is a real ace. Sure he's crazy, but that's only because of his scarred face which, seeing as you are a shallow, shallow human being, turned you off.
Besides, crazy is good sometimes.
The Phantom is a man of multiple intelligences, making insanely beautiful music while building a goddamn Opera House in his spare time. He's also as well-traveled as the Vicomte, having built a palace for the Shah Of Persia, fabricating houses in Constantinople, even going as far as learning to "breathe underwater" from the Tonkin pirates of South-East Asia.
Now if that isn't hardcore, I don't know what is.
Also of note, although The Phantom DID threaten to blow up the Opera House if you, Ms.Daae, did not pledge to love him, he didn't.
And yet, you went ahead and chose Raoul, jeopardizing the lives of hundreds in the Opera House just so you can play naked peek-a-boo with the Vicomte while rolling around in his money.
But he didn't blow it up, did he? No sir no ma'm. He loved you way too much to even think about hurting you. He was content in having been able to kiss you on your forehead. That was enough for him.
So let's see; The Phantom is a musical prodigy, an accomplished architect, is both mature and loving, and he can fucking breathe underwater.
Then we have Raoul, a spoiled, overbearing, jealous, emo ladyboy with the maturity of a 10 year old but with a bank account the size of a small country.
Pound for pound, The Phantom is clearly the logical choice for any prim and proper woman.
But no, you're not prim and proper, are you Ms.Daae?
You are a whore. A shallow, two-faced, whore.
You chose money and power and looks over intellect, emotional maturity, and BREATHING UNDERWATER.
YOU ARE MESSED UP, LADY. YOU ARE MESSED UP IN THE HEAD AND YOU ARE A HEARTLESS WENCH.
You're the 19th century version of Paris Hilton, Hot but Shallow.
I hate you, Christine Daae. I HATE YOU.
hugs and kisses,
me
4 comments:
Woooooooow... I whole heartily agree with this! You are awesome!
I mean, I would definitely marry a guy who can breathe UNDERWATER! Over some spoiled rich boy who is clearly a trannie, not that I hate them.
Write some more please!
I agree with everything here except for one part. How is Christine a whore? She never slept with Erik or Raoul.
I hate Christine dearly but every point you had for hating her was inane and childish. I came her for an intellectual talk about why Christine was a whore not some ghetto ranting from a 12 year old who's too ignorant to see that Erik was messed up in the head. Good day, fop. Have a nice life and hopefully learn to present your arguments in a calm, rational manner so you don't seem like such an imbecile.
Dude you're right. I mean, wow "Erik can breathe underwater let him abuse you!" If they want to get slapped around by the OG for the rest of their lives let them do it and stop trying to force that on Christine. (Don't try to explain these things to them either, they won't understand, Trust me.)
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