Pantscapade

Hey my name is Plasticbagman but people call me Red. And man I hate shoppping. Don't you just hate shopping? Well I do. Its because something like this always happens:

Months ago, I went shopping for a brand new pair of pants. So I went to a certain store, (to be professional and to prevent embarrassing myself by misspelling the store name I shall leave it unnamed). So I went to this store and I checked out some pants. After some time I got two candidates for a spot in my closet. My customer senses urged me to ask the nearby saleslady and ask which is better.

"Alin ang mas maganda dito?" I asked

"Eto sir" she pointed to the pair held by my left hand.

"Bakit?"

"Kasi po sir, etong isa tight fit eh"

For some reason what she told me really hurt. Maybe its because im overweight, and that was a remark against my fatness. Sir the loose fit is better because you aint fitting in that other pair. What an asshole! But maybe she has something else on her mind, so asked her.

"Ano naman kung tight fit?" I asked calmly

"Baka po kasi mahirap sa... inyo..." Eventually she realizes the point shes making and diverts

"Kasi po sir... mas maraming bulsa yung isa eh"

Splendid! I LOVE POCKETS! The shorts I'm wearing right now has a dozen of em! Moving on, I took her advise and I asked for size 40s (note: may not be actual pants size). So she went off and looked for a size in the back while i waited for what seemed like a Pres. Marcos presidential term.

Finally after the martial law, she arrives. With two pairs in hand. Hmmm.. I only asked for one... somethings going on

"Sir wala na pong size 40 (note: may not be actual pants size) size 38 na lang!"

Now don't you just hate it when this happens. They made me wait for eternity, told me I was fat and now I dont have a size? Whats more is that they're trying to push me into buying a size lower or a size under.

"Sir ano sir? try niyo yung 38?"

What do you say to that?

"AH OO, buti na lang kinuha mo yang 38! kasi sa tagal mo sa likod, tumakbo ako ng around the world in 80 days! Tapos pumayat ako!" **(see note below)

Just kidding, I wish I said that. I also wish to have turned into the hulk and hulksmashed the store. Anyhoo, the real story is just I went out and walked home and dreaded the day that I have to shop again. Sorry for the very texty post, my next post will be more picture filled i promise you that.

**(authors note: apparently that wass already a joke from Demetri Martin, in my defense I made it up on my own, but Im not claiming it to be mine and mine alone if someone else beat me to it, im not taking away anything from them.)