The Flavor Chip Life

You know when you're eating chips, you find this awesome chip, and its wearing a thick foundation of flavoring? that's the flavor chip!

then after consuming it, you would want another one, so you start going through the other normal chips until you do. And sometimes you find more flavor chips, sometimes you don't find any other flavor chips at all.

and we take these normal chips for granted you know, because they are nothing compared to the satisfaction brought by these awesome flavor chips. But in truth, all of us agree, that when we open a bag of just a few flavor chips inside, we wouldn't be satisfied as well.

Life is kinda like that.

---

thank you boredom

DI AKO MAKATULOG! MAY IPIS SA KWARTO KO!

After getting home from watching the last full show (Big Stan). I looked forward to crashing to dreamland in my bed, when suddenly after a routine checkup for IMs and Emails, there is a freakin COCKROACH as big as MT. PINATUBO attached on the wall beside my bed.

And I shit you not its big, its like the next manny pacquiao fight.

So my first reaction was to grab the nearest slipper. but the nearest one was way too close to the behemoth. So i opted for the CDs and DVDs in my table. So i went on ahead and threw 300 at him, MISSED! and he hurried up into the ceiling. I quickly followed up with A Series Of Unfortunate Events and thats when i saw my fear become even bigger

THE MOTHERFUCKER HAS WINGS!

THERE IS NOTHING WORSE THAN A COCKROACH THE SIZE OF A CHILD THAN A COCKROACH THE SIZE OF A CHILD THAT HAS WINGS!

But with great reflexes, I took one of my Guitar Hero Controllers and slugged it out of the air. landing on the ground and REALIZING I HAD NO SLIPPERS ON, I quickly scrambled to the top of my bed, where I saw him retreat somewhere in my brother's side of the room.

I never saw it again.

And now it waits

Somewhere in my room

The biggest cockroach in the world

waits

patiently

for the prey to sleep

but I cant sleep

How could you sleep if you were in my position?!

Somewhere in your room is a cockroach you attempted to kill
you attempted to slice using projectile DVDs
you attempted to slug using a toy guitar
SOMEWHERE IS A COCKROACH WHO HAS UNFINISHED BUSINESS SOMEWHERE NEAR YOUR BED! WHERE YOU SLEEP!

WHEN THE LIGHTS ARE TURNED OFF. IT WILL CRAWL INTO YOUR OPEN SNORING MOUTH AND SHIT THERE

Thats whats gonna happen when i sleep.

help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Globalization

Viva La Globalization!

Very imposing, and very commanding. Just do it...

Okay

The Croc.

Haha, get it? TAP into more great times at Friday's...
Nope... that didnt work...

I was walking around the bookstore at about 11am and it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop, and a film SLR shutter sounds like a 50 cal. shit.

Interactive art they say. This thing just gets you wet...

not that kind of wet...

slightly out of focus, but still very stylish :) I'm teaching her how to use the digital Sony. She loves it.

Greenbelt 5 Mall. We have so many malls in the Philippines, we're running out of names to call them.

Toy dogs seem to be becoming a popular accessory too here...

This lady even pooped one out

Japanese Pancake Pizza Omelet. Okonomiyaki. Had to run into "Little Tokyo" to stay dry.

Everyone else was watching a Tigers baseball game. This dude and I were just :|

Coffee shop pimp. Way to go.

My dad thinks all this Globalization smells funny, but it's what makes the world go 'round. Thank you McDonald's.

Yeaaah. Smells funny...

How to ruin your diet: Pan Fried Red Ribbon Ensaymada

Hello! here's a sure fire way to ruin your diet. Ever had Red Ribbon Ensaymadas? Wait lets not call it that. Lets call it 'das cause thats more awesome. Ever had some Red Ribbon 'das? You do? Have you ever had them fried to a crisp crusty behemoth of pleasure?

What most people don't know is that when you eat at Red Ribbon, as in you dine-in and eat inside the establishment. When you order ensaymada, they fry it up for you. And smother it with butter and powedered sugar. That got me thinking. maybe i could do my own version at home!

I shall dedicate this post in teaching you how to ruin your diet with a Pan Fried Red Ribbon 'das. WITH PICTURES!

So we start off by softening a refrigerated 'da via microwaving heating.


DELIGHTFUL! But not delightful enough!

After that we get butter and melt it in a teflon pan


The more non-fat the butter, the better

Make sure your 'da is not spoiled and doesnt have molds and such. Happened to me before and that was a fun experience in the toilet...


I shat the sheriff...

Now because I wasted time macro-ing the shot above. I didnt notice the butter was burning in my pan. So there you go, we put some more butter (and burn it) and the pan is ready for crispy-fying.


Butter should not be brown, but its all good

We put the 'da cheese side up and let it fry until you feel its burnt enough.


Burninating commencing!

Now we flip it over. AND WHATS THIS? NO cheese on this side?! FOR SHAME! The lack of cheese saddens me, so we go to the icebox and look for cheese we can burn.


THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!

I found some singles cheese and it did its job well. If you could, you could put 1-900 slices of cheese in there. I dont care.


ah yes, the world is better now

Now lets flip it over to burn the NFC (New Found Cheese). Make sure you melt it good.


Mas masarap pa sa SEx ;)

On to the plate. Now for garnishing purposes, we put some Philadelphia Cream Cheese on top. FOR GARNISHING PURPOSES NGA LANG E. Its not mainly for eating. but you can eat it too. :)


'Das Incredible!

So there you go, remember that when ruining your diet, make sure you go ALL-OUT. because partially ruining your diet is just stupid. If your already ruining it with a Banana Split you should make that go with a Chocolate Milkshake as well. I mean why wouldn't you? its already ruined anyway.

January 15, 2006

These two pictures were taken over two years ago. Much has changed since then..

Here's Sonny trying to bite his own ear...

Here's Sonny and Mr.M posing for a picture.

Sneaky Rolls, Meter on the Fritz

Sneaky Rolls, Meter on the Fritz

I didn't know what was on this roll, but it was tucked snug in my closet and as I was cleaning out, I decided to have this processed and scanned. I now know why I didn't scan this in the first place, the shots from it were hardly keepers...

A burnt half frame. My cousin JJ learning how to use Photoshop. This guy's got heart :)

A happy couple having some tea

Buckles. My Loyal Beagle.

My dad. He's a milkman, here he is examining the milk's consistency and viscosity in the glass. He never really liked the business cause it really is a bitch negotiating with mainland Indians and getting them to ship ANYTHING out on time. Hare Krishna.

My folks watching a movie while waiting for dessert. This is quite cute.

This was from a Call Of Duty night at Jame's pad. The guy has computers and sensors in every fucking corner. U.P. over here decided to distract us during controller setup.

that's about it from this lost roll.
and it might be the last from my Yashica Electro 35. The meter is acting funny, and when a rangefinder wont focus on infinity, you know something's wrong.

Archiving Photos

I'm not the neatest person when it comes to arranging my stuff, but one of my new year's resolutions was to change that, and start organizing my room, my notes, and my files. Since I'm moving my older stuff onto an external drive soon, I figured I'd share some of them with you before moving them into storage.

This was taken after our side trip to the little surfing/beach province of La Union. Migs was tired after numerous face plants in the sand...

Lining up for sunblock. I hear in Russia, they have to do this for bread!

This is Gab giving up after trying to body board.

Moonwalking on Skates!

The guys started to play tag after a while at this tiny amusement center in what was Camp John-Hay in Baguio City. Many former American bases were turned into money making machines after they [The Americans] were forced to leave. Gab gets away from James who obviously skated only in his dreams. We almost died laughing cause it seemed like a bad horror flick where it takes the monster forever to creep up to the kids. James must have fallen 15 times before realizing the game is going nowhere, fast!

Depressed looking dog tied up outside a Korean school. I would be depressed too...

More photos from the beach

Very nostalgic. This was a couple days before I found the love of my life :)

The Cobrasnake Bites Manila!

I never thought I'd get to see the Cobrasnake in Manila (Philippines) in my Lifetime.
but...

Great guy. Gave him a couple of calling cards... one of them... should end up with Chris Weeks.

Damn club stopped me from bringing in my slr, was lucky I had my point n shoot with me. Thanks Rev for getting me in. Now if only I could be like this guy, Mark got in the swankiest club here with a pair of shorts on. He's the man.

How Batman Saved My Life

So there I was, walking the empty streets of Hong Kong, the neon signs that buzzed and burned in the early hours of the night have been extinguished.

The alley was dark and damp, a perfect place to get mugged in any other city. But not Hong Kong right? Of course not, I assured myself, there are cameras EVERYWHERE!

I braved the un-illuminated side street, stepping on strange puddles as I waded through almost pitch-black darkness.

There it is! The light at the end of the alley! I saw it so perfectly, the bus stop, the small crowd waiting.

They were all there, I just need to get past this darkness.

I quickened my pace, and as I did so, I heard a strange sound.

I stopped at my tracks, but the footsteps that echoed seemed to fall a second too late.
My breathing became heavy, my heart beat raced, I look back and see

Nothing.

But I can hear it. In the dark darkness, a shuffling of feet, an unsheathing of blades.

I broke into a run, and my pursuers gave chase!
The street is a mere 20 meter's away!
But no! It doesn't look like I'll make it!

As I turned around to face my would-be muggers, a strange shape formed in the blackness
Then, without warning I hear a:

BAM!

BOOF!

KAPOW!

ZING!

SOCK!


As the cornucopia of 60's sound effects filled the alley, I broke into a run, confident that the strange saviour can handle himself.

Salvation! I find myself at the bus stop!

But who was it that saved me? What brave soul would just jump out into a darkness so dark that it was darker than what a blind man can't already see?
Who would be dark enough to pull of such heroism?
WHO?

I'll tell you who.

It was Batman.
I do not lie. The Dark Knight himself saved me from my would-be muggers.


I, unfortunately, was not able to chronicle the battle to save my life.
However Batman did take me to McDonalds.

Michael Keaton has fallen on hard times since the first Batman...

Beware, criminals of Hong Kong! Batman walks the streets....and apparently not even the Dark Knight is immune to the allure of a steaming hot Big Mac.

TEN! TENENENENTENTENTENTEEEEN!!!! TENENENEN NENEN!! TENEN NENEN!
(Batman The Animated Series theme song)

Pantscapade

Hey my name is Plasticbagman but people call me Red. And man I hate shoppping. Don't you just hate shopping? Well I do. Its because something like this always happens:

Months ago, I went shopping for a brand new pair of pants. So I went to a certain store, (to be professional and to prevent embarrassing myself by misspelling the store name I shall leave it unnamed). So I went to this store and I checked out some pants. After some time I got two candidates for a spot in my closet. My customer senses urged me to ask the nearby saleslady and ask which is better.

"Alin ang mas maganda dito?" I asked

"Eto sir" she pointed to the pair held by my left hand.

"Bakit?"

"Kasi po sir, etong isa tight fit eh"

For some reason what she told me really hurt. Maybe its because im overweight, and that was a remark against my fatness. Sir the loose fit is better because you aint fitting in that other pair. What an asshole! But maybe she has something else on her mind, so asked her.

"Ano naman kung tight fit?" I asked calmly

"Baka po kasi mahirap sa... inyo..." Eventually she realizes the point shes making and diverts

"Kasi po sir... mas maraming bulsa yung isa eh"

Splendid! I LOVE POCKETS! The shorts I'm wearing right now has a dozen of em! Moving on, I took her advise and I asked for size 40s (note: may not be actual pants size). So she went off and looked for a size in the back while i waited for what seemed like a Pres. Marcos presidential term.

Finally after the martial law, she arrives. With two pairs in hand. Hmmm.. I only asked for one... somethings going on

"Sir wala na pong size 40 (note: may not be actual pants size) size 38 na lang!"

Now don't you just hate it when this happens. They made me wait for eternity, told me I was fat and now I dont have a size? Whats more is that they're trying to push me into buying a size lower or a size under.

"Sir ano sir? try niyo yung 38?"

What do you say to that?

"AH OO, buti na lang kinuha mo yang 38! kasi sa tagal mo sa likod, tumakbo ako ng around the world in 80 days! Tapos pumayat ako!" **(see note below)

Just kidding, I wish I said that. I also wish to have turned into the hulk and hulksmashed the store. Anyhoo, the real story is just I went out and walked home and dreaded the day that I have to shop again. Sorry for the very texty post, my next post will be more picture filled i promise you that.

**(authors note: apparently that wass already a joke from Demetri Martin, in my defense I made it up on my own, but Im not claiming it to be mine and mine alone if someone else beat me to it, im not taking away anything from them.)

Mr.M's Guide To Living In A Post-Apocalyptic World

I've been hearing a lot about a certain magnitude 8 earthquake that will supposedly hit Manila on the 18th of July, 2008.

Now, I can't really help out with preparing for such a disaster, mainly because in the movies, any and all preparations are either insufficient or negligible, almost always due to lack of information, arrogant politicians, or the main protagonist's inability to reach the broadcast tower on time (because he had sex with the lead female and/or he is hindered by a doomsday cult obsessed with the apocalypse. Or both.)

We're supposed to be saving the world right now...

I know that the prediction says that it will only hit Manila, but let's prepare for the worst.
Most likely when this earthquake hits, the international community is bound to send out a couple of relief efforts, and I'm sure the government will like, I dunno, hand out candy bars or some shit.
You'll be fine.

No, what I'M going to discuss is a GLOBAL EARTH SHATTERING DISASTER OF CATASTROPHIC PROPORTIONS. (cue in epic music.) [add an echo to your voice for effect]

Global Earth Shattering Disaster

What I might be able to help with is surviving the post-apocalyptic world that you know inhabit.
I speak with proper authority because I have read and seen countless post-apocalyptic fiction and movies. I am well versed in over 10 different scenarios, ranging from a Vampire/Zombie Take-over, to a Humanity Wiping Plague, to a Nuclear Armageddon, to a Meteor Impact. Heck, throw in the Final Judgment while you're at it.
Oh yeah. I read the bible too. I can survive that.

Pfft. This doesn't scare me. I'm prepared for that.

So! On with the guide!


Mr.M's Guide To Living In A Post-Apocalyptic World! (Earthquake Scenario)

A 100-year old prediction of an Earth shattering earthquake has been ignored. The prophet who made the prediction is now dead, and the world's governments have turned a deaf ear to all your warnings.

EARTHQUAKE?! OMG NO WAI! LOLZ!

Suddenly, a massive quake hits all the continents at the same time (just for the sake of argument). We see a montage of disasters happening, from a shopping mall being torn asunder, to a preschool being swallowed up by the earth.

Picture this, only with school children and old people.

You somehow survive because, being forewarned, you were in a gigantic dirigible, built by the prophet who wasn't actually dead, he was just working as a transvestite midget hooker to evade the same doomsday cult who prevented you from warning the rest of the people. (Why he's a transvestite midget hooker, I don't know. Just use your imagination.)

As you float down to the now-ruined cities, you find yourself alone, and destitute. Your leading lady is shocked into suicide, the prophet fell out of your balloon when you were landing so he's now nothing more than a red puddle on the ground, and your trusty side-kick has died of a massive heart-attack (again, just for the sake of argument.).

Congratulations! You have reached the end of the world!

Oh...Shit.

But don't pat yourself on the back just yet! Surviving an earth-shattering catastrophe is one thing, but the true challenge is living out the rest of your natural born life.
The world-ending earthquake managed to wipe out 95% of the entire human population.
This may seem a large number, but take into account that there are over 8 BILLION people in the world.
What's 5% of that? I honestly do not know. That's more math than I can handle.
You must now survive
Do YOU know what to do?

No. No you don't know what to do. That's why you're reading this.

Step 1: Establish a home base.

First, look for a decent place to crash, preferably one that is both comfortable and easily defensible.

Not bad. Not bad at all.

Remember, no one is running the power stations, and high-rise apartments are out of the question, seeing as most of them would have toppled over by now.
There should be many hiding places available by now, mostly created by office buildings lying on their sides.

One of these buildings can be YOUR new home!

But be careful! The ground could be treacherous and aftershocks are to be expected.

Worry, Shit like this WILL happen.

Step 2: Stock up on supplies.

Food and water naturally become a priority. Canned foods, dehydrated meals and the like will be your best friend in this dark and power-less world. A butane gas stove and some camping gear would also be essential.

You know why people in the movies have a hard time?

Because they didn't have shit like this.

Medical supplies come next. I'm no doctor but hey, neither are you! Stock up on anti-biotics, the stronger, the better. Some needle and thread to sew up any wounds, Hydrogen Peroxide and rubbing alcohol to stave off infection. Maybe some soap as well. Just because no one is around, doesn’t mean you gotta abandon personal hygiene.

Step 3: Educate yourself.

Next, I suggest gathering up a lot of How-To books. You can find them in any abandoned bookstore.

Get books on stuff like, How To Wire Electronics, just in case you find a working generator(and you will find one), some medical books on How To Clean Wounds would also be in your best interest.

How-To Books. You get the idea.

Step 4: Clothing.

Clothing will also become an issue. If you live in a tropical country, chances are you wont need much, save for the occasional raincoat when monsoon season rolls around.

But if you're living in more temperate climates, going out and getting winter wear is a very good idea. Some heavy overcoats, maybe some gloves to stave off the harsh cold. Oh and, get a pair of welder's goggles. Those things look cool when matched with a torn up trench coat and a rifle slung over your shoulder.

Kinda like this, only with goggles. Goggles are cool. Trust me.

Speaking of rifles...

Step 5: Guns and Ammo. (Maybe even some knives)

Just because the earthquake wiped out most of human civilization doesn't mean that other people won't be after your shit.

Stock up on pistols, and shotguns for home defense, rifles and automatics for scouting trips.

Grenades are unnecessary and dangerous.

You can find these, and other weapons in abandoned gun shops or, if available, ruined military bases. Pilfer the corpses of dead soldiers and security guards.

However, if the world decides to swallow up guns and some such, go low-tech and fashion yourself a knife. It's easy just pick up some rebar, and, like, make it pointy or whatever.

Either one of these would be awesome.

Step 6: Mobility

No man is an island, and soon you'll need to get out there and look for other survivors.

This is a tricky step. Since the earthquake has wiped out nearly all of Man's infrastructure, you will be hard-pressed to find gasoline. I suggest going to nearby wrecked petrol stations and gathering up any and all petrol. Hey, don't worry about it, it's free!

Vehicle of choice: Run back to the ruined military base mentioned in step 4, and, why not, grab yourself a tank. It's sturdy, and it can go over almost any kind of terrain. Better than that, grab a helicopter. It gives you a greater range of mobility and sight. The only drawback is that you'd need to know how to fly a helicopter in the first place.

I'd suggest tanks. They're much cooler, and easier to drive.

I mean, with the tank, It's just like driving a car. Have you never played those tank battle games in arcades?

Yeah, it's just like this!

Step 7: Re-establishing society.

By now, you should have gathered AT LEAST 5-600 people.

5-600 people. Give or take.

Your home base has become a miniature city, and you managed to gather a very eclectic group of survivors. On staff are doctors, farmers, engineers, technicians, etc.. It is at this time that re organizing the structure of society becomes your choice. Most people would go for a more democratic, Utopian society, where everyone gets a say.

But remember this: If everyone gets a say, nothing will ever get done.

I, for one, would go with a despotic, albeit benevolent, rule. I know what's best for everyone, so you can all just shut the fuck up and listen to me. That way, everything gets done right.

At this point, you usually ascend to the highest position of power in your mini-city, atop the shoulders of a thankful crowd. In the sky are the super imposed images of your dead loved ones, smiling down on you, and nodding with approval.

It should look something like this. And if you're not the one wearing a crown, then you have FAILED.

Perhaps your dead girlfriend would say that it is time for you to move on, at which point you then notice a stunning doctor-girl in the crowd giving you the eyes. You may now use your imagination as to what happens next.

There should ALWAYS be a sexy doctor in the crowd. If there isn't one, then you have FAILED.

-The End-

I hope this guide will help you in your time of need. It's only a day away, and you may not have access to the internet when it comes.

I suggest printing this out, and keeping it under your pillow while you sleep, so the knowledge may seep into your head while you slumber.

This is Mr.M saying, I am not responsible for any and all accidents and/or deaths that may result from the rote following of this guide.

Cheers :D